he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is Oprah even human
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
