I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am spending my child support on dildos
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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