and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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