Sry I called you an 8
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
