i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
