I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
