NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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