He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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