How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize