there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
