Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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