dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
