i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
