I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
