It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
