Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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