I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
