we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
