I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
