Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
