I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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