absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
