i just wanna soil my oats bro
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
