"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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