i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
