Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
