Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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