You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
