you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
