Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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