It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
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