Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do you still have your period?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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