I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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