its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
