I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
