god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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