You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she looked like the before picture.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
