Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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