Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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