she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
