So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
