roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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