What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it hurts more in the daytime
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
