i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
