you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
