I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
