I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
