I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
