Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
