i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
