I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
