Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
